Christmastime At The Legislative Assembly of Alberta

Christmastime At The Legislative Assembly of Alberta


The honourable member for Strathmore-Brooks. Mr. Speaker, it’s Christmastime and Santa’s
elves are making sure that they have all the toys for all the girls and boys, but the Wildrose
has real concerns about the impact the NDP policies are having on toy production and
the elf labour market. According to legitimate statistics from the
Fraser Institute a $15 minimum wage will mean a huge bar for young elves entering the toy
production labour market and could result in the layoffs of hundreds of elves. The NDP’s plan to unionize Santa’s workshop
will devastate toy production levels as seniority is rewarded over merit. Will the Premier tell the House why they’re
willing to accept less toys for the girls and boys at Christmas? The honourable Minister of Finance. Thank you very much, Mr. Speaker. You know, the Official Opposition seems to
think with regard to the elves or we call them workers for government, or we call them
the civil service. That we can break employment contracts, that it’s okay to do that. Well, that’s not the way we roll on this
side. You may want to do that, but we’re not going
to break employment contracts. We’re going to support workers so that they
can do the best job possible for this government, whether it’s in Human Services or any other
ministry. You break contracts. We don’t. The subject matter has changed, but the volume is still there, folks. First supplemental. Well, Merry Christmas from Enmax, Mr. Speaker. For nearly 2,000 years Santa has responsibly
used coal, but the NDP are demanding the phase-out of this reliable and cheap source of energy. Without coal Santa will not have anything
to give the naughty children except for billions of dollars of government debt, amounting to
$23,000 for every boy and girl, naughty or nice. If the oil sands emissions cap was applied
to Santa, he would have to begin scaling back toy production right now. Seeing as how it’s nighttime half the year
in the North Pole, solar panels won’t do. Does the Grinch understand the devastating
impact this will have on toy production? Mr. Speaker, what the opposition doesn’t
understand is that if we don’t curtail the use of coal and the emissions of CO2, the
North Pole is going to melt. What will happen to toy production then? honourable member for Grinch, I would just
like to thank you for allowing me to enjoy this. Am I on second supplemental? No Well, Santa will just have to move to Alberta,
Mr. Speaker. According to Ethical Ocean, Santa’s reindeer
will emit 54,000 metric tons of greenhouse gases; milk and cookies, 9,000 tons; lumps
of coal, 230,000; wrapping paper, 290,000; his workshop, 983,000; toy production, 68
million. That all adds up to a total Christmas carbon
footprint of 70 million metric tons. The carbon tax, or, since it’s Christmas,
levy, will cost Santa $3.5 billion. Does
the Premier understand that if their carbon tax was applied to Santa, there would be no
Christmas? Well, you know, I just want to ask the member
opposite if in all of his facts and figures and numbers and there are so many facts
and figures there, so scientific, let me just ask if he factored in the cost of Santa’s workshop occurring
on an ocean liner in return for the ice cap that it is no longer sitting on because we
failed to take action because we don’t believe that climate change is real. Mr. Speaker. Santa is very glad that we are saving him
and Christmas and toys. I do hope the honourable Premier recognized
the contribution of Mrs. Claus as well.

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